Posted by girl on July 19, 2003, at 11:58:02
I'm due for liposuctioin in a few days. I've been talking to my pdoc about itand while he doesn't approve, he can;t sway me. I'm not obese. I'm just a bit chubby but I hate it. I hate my body. Because of it, I think I've started to hate myself. Low self esteem, yes, I know. Forget diets, they just make me cranky. I figured that if I had the ways and means (ie money) to do it, then I should go for it. Hopefully, if all goes well, I can start liking myself again. But what is the beginning of liking oneself? Is it liking the inside then the outside or the other way around? Somehow for me, if I don't like me outside, I'm just disgusted with my inside. Bad enough I'm not at my ideal figure, but I've got psych problems to boot. Everythign I'm doing, no matter how strange or crazy it may be all seems to be for the sake of getting better. I want to get better. It isn't just my mind that has to get better. My mind will never be better if I physically abhor myself. Am I making sense? It's vain, but aren't we allowed vanity? Why can't I do what I want to make myself happy? Why is liposuction such a taboo subject and much worse, why is getting anything cosmetically done by a psych patient sound like an inane thing to do... as if I'm not in the right frame of mind. No one is supporting me in this decision. It's the "we like you just as you are" argument. But I don't like me the way I am. Isn't that enough reason? I want to be thin and pretty and feel good about myself. Thoughts? Objections, anyone?
poster:girl
thread:243471
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/243471.html