Posted by ruby on July 3, 2003, at 22:59:35
hi folks--
i'm ruby and i'm new here, just writing to introduce myself. i've been reading some of the conversations, sort of randomly picking threads to see what is happening here. it is kind of amazing to see how you all are supporting one another and finding the space to vent. it is also comforting to hear some bits of your stories and lives and to realize i'm not so whacked as i thought.
i am struggling with depression and ptsd--was sexually abused by numerous men and women, some family members, as a child...and all of this popped back to the surface after 9/11when i was basically standing at the base of the north tower when the first plane flew overhead and crashed into it.
first i was so horrified at all the evil in the world, as well as all the tradegy all around--so many broken families, lost loved ones--and that has just snowballed--it feels like the world is almost too full of pain and suffering to exist in. some days walking down the streets here in the city, i can barely stand it cause i see so much sadness and brokenness. and sometimes i just feel absolutely exhausted by it all and have to stay in bed all day just to survive. sigh. like some of you others, i self-abuse--mostly cutting.
but i have a strong, steady, caring therapist as well as a great pdoc; i'm on a cocktail of meds and haven't been helped much, still in search of help on that front.
anyway, that is a bit of me. i'm not sure how much i'll be able to participate here because all these messages seem so overwhelming but it is good to know there is a community out there struggling with similar things.
thanks all of you who have shared your suffering, and for all of you who've been encouraging and helpful...and thanks to anyone who has read this far!
poster:ruby
thread:239102
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/239102.html