Posted by kalyb on June 15, 2003, at 11:02:57
In reply to Re: You aren't » kalyb, posted by whiterabbit on June 13, 2003, at 16:00:51
Grace, thank you so much for this post!!
I've printed it out and I shall read it every day to help with my perspective on things.
One of the problems with the lack of boundaries is that she doesn't really want to give me any defined responsibilities. The only one I really know I have, is doing the washing-up and cleaning the kitchen every day whcih, even when I was at my lowest ebb, I still managed to do.
However during our talk the other day, it emerged that she gets up at 6am, looks around her kitchen and wishes it was clean, but doesn't want to do it herself because that would mean I had no "job" to do that day when I finally get up later, and she'd have to ask me to do something else.
It really seems as though she wants my role to be the "odd job person" with no defined duties, just at her beck and call to do whatever she needs done on any given day.
But you are right, I need to overcome my fear of confrontation and sort this out. Whether it will have any effect, I don't know, but now I don't get the crippling anxiety that I've always had in any type of confrontation, I should perhaps make use of this chance to improve my interpersonal skills!
Much love to you Grace, and thanks again for your kind and helpful words.
Kalyb xx
poster:kalyb
thread:233461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/234113.html