Posted by mair on May 29, 2003, at 13:21:05
I was really struck by Greg's wonderful post up above about the ways his wife has supported him through his depression. I can't say that my husband (of practically 20 years) has been unsupportive but I'm not sure supportive is a word I'd use either. What probably bothers me the most is that he's just so totally disinterested in whatever is going on with me head-wise. He never inquires about the progress or direction of my twice a week therapy, I really don't think he has a clue what medications I take and doesn't do anything to educate himself about anti-depressant medications in general. At different times, therapists have recommended books to him which might help explain depression and he's never bothered to read any of them. Occasionally if I'm in particularly bad shape, he'll ask me if everything is ok, but if I tell him that I'm depressed, that's sort of the end of the conversation, and if I make a remark about my something my therapist said, or about a medication my pdoc has recommended, for instance, he never really responds to my remark with a question or with a remark of his own. He's certainly been supportive about me making periodic changes to my work schedule to lessen stress, but I guess I look at that as being a simple sort of support, welcome when offered but only needed on a rare occasion.
I freely admit that I'm probably responsible for alot of his disinterest. I find it difficult to speak on a deeper level about what my depression is like or about what is discussed in therapy, so I don't initiate those discussions and in the rare instance in which these things have been discussed, I probably haven't been all that encouraging. I pay all the household bills so he never even sees my therapy bills. Mostly, I work pretty hard to hide my symptoms and I've always been able to function on some level even during the worst of times, so it's not like a wear my depression on my sleeve.
I'd be curious about how others of you get support from spouses or significant others and what adjustments your spouses have made to accommodate your illness.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:229950
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030517/msgs/229950.html