Posted by babs on May 22, 2003, at 20:27:05
Hi All- I'm in the process of grieving my mother's death. She died April 8 after being diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer in November. From November to April, I basically just did what I could to get through the day as I watched her die. It was the hardest time of my life, with the exception of depression which is hard in a different way. For months there was no good news- it was the cancer has spread really far, the treatment's not working, she has six months to live. Nothing good happened. And then she died (God- I can't believe it's only been six weeks).
Anyway, over the last two days two good things have happened to me that made me happy. I was happy for like 5 minutes and then became extremely anxious. I'll give you an example. I'm in grad school and was freaking out because I'm running out of money but I want to take classes this summer to get through my classes faster. I thought I was going to have to get a job but I found out today that my financial aid package will cover me throught the summer so I can just focus on school. I was so relieved and happy.... for about 5 minutes and then I had a total panic attack and had to take an Ativan. This is the second time this has happened in as many days. It's like my brain, after six months of non-stop tragic news, can no longer handle good news. Does any of this make sense? Is it normal?
I remember this happening to me when I went through my initial experience with depression- I was incredibly depressed and I started meds and a few weeks down the line I had a pretty good day relatively speaking so I decided to treat myself and buy a bottle of perfume. I was happy for about five minutes and then had a huge panic attack. Has anyone else experienced this or am I insane?
poster:babs
thread:228443
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030517/msgs/228443.html