Posted by magic potion on May 7, 2003, at 20:29:22
In reply to Re: The Living Dead, posted by nhg on May 6, 2003, at 9:35:12
> I'm sorry to be such a downer, but that's really how I feel. I feel like no matter what I do, my life will always be subject to circumstances that are unfair and that I have no control over and that, try as I may, I can't change. I do everything I'm supposed to. I get "help". I've tried tons of drugs. I'm still miserable and very alone. After years of this, sometimes I feel like one more day might actually kill me.
Fortunately, people here aren't afraid of 'downer' thoughts. This is the place where you can share them without fearing that you'll isolate yourself...or bring everyone else down. That's okay. Right now, I need to drag YOU back up. But who knows, tomorrow you might need to drag ME back up (as you did earlier simply by sharing your thoughts and taking the time to reach out to me)
It sounds like you are very frustrated and feeling hopeless. So, let's look at possible avenues of hope. (this isn't my specialty, by the way...I'm usually in the hopeless crowd myself, so bare with me here)
1. Drug companies are always looking to launch new products. Your magic potion could be on the horizon. There are big bucks banking on pharmaceuticals. (of course, they never look for a cure...only an ongoing treatment)2. You might eventually stumble upon the right combination of drugs and counseling (the right person; the right prescription)
3. People do change. Even your allergies change every seven years. Maybe you'll outgrow depression (You can't prove to me that it isn't possible)
4. A change could happen externally in your life that will help your situation. (lessen the loneliness, for example)
5. you're sick of hearing me give you what you probably think of as false hope, but you can't discount me unless you can disprove the things I've stated.
Finally, even if that didn't help much, you should know that I spent a good deal of time trying.
I will pray for you. I can't light my St. Jude candle because the last time I did he set my hair on fire. I can no longer trust him. I think he's disassociating himself from me because of all the God doubting I've been doing lately.
By the way, when was the last time you felt happy? When did the depression start?
Hang in there!
poster:magic potion
thread:224324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030506/msgs/224978.html