Posted by susan C on April 24, 2003, at 21:35:45
In reply to Re: hidden information, posted by paxvox on April 24, 2003, at 20:19:43
Hello Dear Pax,
My apologies for not keeping up on my reading here, though it sounds like you have been "around the block" in my absence...There are a couple of things I want to share here...One, is a long long long time ago, 25 years or more, my parents, first committed my brother against his will. He really needed the help and refused to go. I have never heard the story of how it happened, as I was not at home by then, and now, I think my mom doesnt want to remember the experience. I would guess it is like described above, very painful for all concerned. After that, a time later, I don't know how long, my father finally told my brother never to come home again. He disowned him. He did this because my mother would get so upset everytime he came home. Dad felt it was either his son or his wife, and he chose his wife...not too long ago, my mom said she felt dad hadn't done enough for my brother. That banning him was too harsh. What distance time makes, eh? With in a year or so, my dad died of cancer, suddenly. Two months later, mom invited bro back home for Christmas. The next day, he commited suicide with a gun. He was very sick. Back then there was very little that could have helped him, unlike today.
I visited my mother recently. I have been so ill the last six years that I havent traveled much. We talked about this and that. She is 85 this year and is busy writing her history. There are several decades she just cannot remember what happened...things were so difficult. She expressed her worry that she hadn't been a good mother, that the illness of the parents caused a problem with me...I said to her, for all the problems at the time, dad's illness and pain, bro's illness, you trying to deal with it all, raising five kids, all during a time when "you just didn't talk about things like this" my memory was and is, that I always felt loved. We always had food, a roof over our heads, clothes, we were warm, I knew you were always there for me, you and dad. I always felt loved.
We cried together. She thanked me.
You are fortunate Pax, we are fortunate to have this forum to talk about these very difficult decisions and situations, to reach out and get support.
Your friend,
mouse
poster:susan C
thread:221860
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030421/msgs/222154.html