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This Girl...................

Posted by PamJeanBrunot on March 30, 2003, at 23:01:59

I know a girl, afraid and sad, sometimes she's happy and sometimes she's sad, she can also be mad and glad. She wonders what all these feelings serve, and sometimes thinking too much gets on her last nerve.
She has feelings of wanting things in her life to be different. She tells herself to grow up when she starts getting on a pity pot. But is it a pity pot? She doesn't know if it is or not.
This girl wants to be a girl who always can give to her world-without losing herself. I dream of a girl who feels she deserves to eat well, be well, and stay well. This girl knows that life is full of twists and turns, good and bad days. This girl has a dream of seeing the bad days learning experiences, and hope for a better day. This girl sees the good days as blessings and thanks God for them. This girl also dreams of being brave enough to fight off her feelings of fear, worry, and self-doubt. This girl has lost herself. She has told herself that she needs to grow up and realize that life on life's terms is the best choice she can make and accept that choice. This girl is crying as she realizes there is some emptiness, but she doesn't know exactly how to fill it,let alone what this emptiness really is. This girl has been on 75 % of the psychiatric medications out on the market and hopes new trials with 2 of them at the present will help.
This girl cries when she realizes that sometimes she feels better when she CAN cry instead of covering up those feelings with high-fat foods or cigarettes. This girl dreams of being a dancer again, aks God to help her to realize that she is okay right as she is, and that she can't save the world, but to go out into it and be brave and act herself.
This girl has lost track of herself as she has watched old friends,classmates, and others pass her on by. This girl feels she will never do good enough or be good enough. This girl cries about the things she is hurting about and prays that she finds it in her heart to make some changes in her life to better help others and be kind instead of angry or too sensitive,
be happy instead of ungrateful
be patient instead of always wanting
and to be free from self-doubt, self-sabotage, and self-absorption.
This girl prays that in the family she lives with, who, have their own deep seated issues, that she doesn't take their guilt and shame, and negativity. She loves her biological family, yet she knows that someone in her family is promoting her dependence.
This girl is a loveable kind caring hopeful spiritual person.This girl is confused, and sad.............................
This girl is me

I pray to God, that I can see,
a better life for you and me,
I pray to God that I can tell,
the difference between guilt and being well,
I pray to God, in all humility,
that instead of sadness, I can see life beautifully.
I pray to God, for strength to see,
that life is good and I can only be me.
I pray to God to give me strentgh, and make me brave,
to learn and understand the mistakes I've made.
I hope God knows how sometimes I mess up,
but knows my heart and gets inside that part, relizes I try to make me a better human being,
I pray to God that all the world will someday say, she's a girl worth seeing.This girl is confused, and sad.............................
This girl is me

Thanks for allowing me to share at this moment,
Pam


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poster:PamJeanBrunot thread:214601
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030326/msgs/214601.html