Posted by paxvox on March 27, 2003, at 12:12:55
In reply to Re: i feel like i should say I'm sorry for taking over » paxvox, posted by Dinah on March 27, 2003, at 5:33:44
Well, yes, my youngest child (almost 8) is more important to me than anything else in THIS world. I love my wife, but she has made it very difficult to like her over the past 8 years as things have fallen apart. You may or may not have read the posts I have made about her condition in the past year or so. I only disclosed vailed information on the general board as I recall, and gave more info to those who contact me by email, or were on the "live" board we used to (still?) have. My counselor has been helping me find ways to let her know that her conduct is unacceptable without making it a negative reflection on HER (rather her actions). One interesting tidbit he pointed out, and I guess you would have to know some of her history to understand the relevence of this point. So, I'll just say this much: her illness is related to an abuse situation that happened to her from 8-13. My counselor has suggested to me that sometime abuse victims become "frozen" in time from the period of the abuse in their mental and pyschological reasoning capabilities. This would explain a lot. For example, she evades direct conflict or discussion by basically storming out or "not wanting to talk about it" much the way a pre-teen might react to her parent. I have become the "parent" as well as the "abuser" through transference. Therefore, when there are issues she doesn't want to deal with, she applies escapist tactics similar to a pre-teen. Does any of this make sense?
PAX
poster:paxvox
thread:213254
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030326/msgs/213449.html