Posted by Ginjoint on March 3, 2003, at 9:00:18
In reply to Help! , posted by kara lynne on March 1, 2003, at 17:30:20
Hey kara lynne...
I'm trying to think of what to say...why can it be so hard to type out words of encouragement?! Sometimes it is so easier to say them verbally, so that true vocal inflections shine through and really make the other person feel better. I really want you to feel better.
I can identify with your feelings of being too old to ever have what you want...I think just the sensations of clinical depression can make anyone feel twice their age. In the last few weeks, I am trying to make myself cognizant of what, at age 36, I'm too old for (not too much), and what the depression is making me think I'm too old for...and also what the depression makes me _physically_ feel I'm too old for. What do you feel you are too old for, kara lynne?
I think moving might be a good way for a fresh start, provided that the move itself won't cause too much extra stress. As we all know, moving can be a major stressor, so as long as you brace yourself for that and are ready to roll with its punches, go for it! One thing I'm doing this week for a fresh start, because I don't want to move, is to paint the walls of my apartment. I got permission from my landlord, so goodbye dirty white walls. It took me a long time to rev myself up for this. If you can't move, is there something else you can do with your home to freshen it up and reenergize yourself? Maybe just a good spring cleaning or moving some furniture around? I know this can take high energy levels to do, and I wish I was there to help you.
I have been in few relationships in my life, so I'm not very good at advice in that department. But I do know that feeling of utter despair, that this is "as good as it gets." What you've told though, sounds more like habit than relationship. Do you have any kind of support nework should you decide to leave? Ask yourself if any increased loneliness you might feel could be tempered by a new "lightness of being" as you leave other problems behind. I wish that I could think of better things to say, kara lynne, but I do wish you the strength to make the choices you need to make. I am rooting for you.
Ginjoint
poster:Ginjoint
thread:205113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030301/msgs/205487.html