Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2003, at 5:17:29
In reply to lost in a horrible circle of thought, posted by likelife on February 26, 2003, at 0:06:32
I understand, likelife, and I'm sorry you're feeling that way. It's a lousy place to be.
I could be annoyingly optimistic and say that the fact that you're feeling better most of the time is a good thing, and that setbacks, particularly under stress are unavoidable. As long as you keep the big picture in mind.
Or I could be more honest and say that that doesn't make it feel any better short term, does it. I know the feeling of just wanting to find a cave where I can hide until everything that's stressing me goes away. I am frequently beginning to recognize the suicidal thoughts as desires to escape and trying to substitute fantasies of running away. But sometimes there is a lot of anger involved - anger at feeling overwhelmed and at all the stressors. It's harder then. My therapist and I were discussing ways to release some of the anger in a more constructive way.
But you're right, there is an automatic quality to it that is hard to overcome. Is it a learned response that we can relearn? Or is it somehow wired in along with the depression? Like itching with chickenpox.
No answers I'm afraid, just a lot of good wishes, and the fact that you're not alone.
poster:Dinah
thread:203880
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030223/msgs/203924.html