Posted by Dr. Bob on January 11, 2003, at 4:13:03
In reply to Disillusioned, posted by Tabitha on January 10, 2003, at 7:56:51
> I think Dr Bob is on the right track, trying to keep the focus on support and education... In retrospect, I can see the threads that work best are the purely light-hearted ones, and the purely supportive ones
Those are less likely to lead to conflict, anyway...
> It seems every time a conflict comes up, it just divides the group, people take sides, or try to be careful not to take sides, and a bunch of insult-trading happens, and the unlucky impulsive ones get blocked, and the conflict doesn't get resolved, and the division lingers.
> I wanted more, I wanted to get to know people, get a picture of their personalities, and develop affection for them. Once you start doing that, then, conflicts happen, and, well, like I said, they just don't get worked out.
I'm biased, of course, but I think some conflicts do, with time, get worked out enough to move on, at least...
> Beardedlady's departure hit me hard, too... Maybe she'll get over that hurt and return, again. But I'm sad that going off alone and licking your wounds is the only option here. There really ought to be a better way.
Maybe it's seeing the glass as half full, but IMO it's good if people can disengage when they feel something isn't helping. And then re-engage later. And of course if they aren't totally alone (ie, have other supports) while off licking their wounds...
> There's more stuff lately about thick skin, so I know that sharing my hurt will likely invite ridicule.
That may have been about sharing hurt, but it may also have been about having some administrative power. You're always free to take a break from that, you know...
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:34965
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030111/msgs/35036.html