Posted by Tabitha on December 22, 2002, at 16:35:12
In reply to Re: is this depression? awful whatever it is » Tabitha, posted by Dreamerz on December 22, 2002, at 4:37:25
You're both so right. work world has been making me crazy (well, increasing craziness at least) for 15+ years, with only brief bits of enjoyment in there. I have to make it stop. Still have not figured out whether the way to make it stop is external (i.e. quit) or internal (i.e. figure out a way to not let it get to me), or a combination of the two.
I have 2 weeks to let this settle before I"m back in it, maybe some clarity will come.
End of sane reflection, here comes some more rambling worry...
Would you believe I have enough money saved to survive 2-3 years of unemployment? Without even economizing much. (well, i'd probably have to cut back on the therapy). But I think gee, I'd better save, since I don't know how long I can stand this, I might not be able to work to retirement age. Then I think gee, wouldn't it be fabulous to take that time off (or even 6 mos for crissake), or to go back to school for a new field, life is short and i'm an idiot to stay on the hamster wheel nonstop during the prime of my life. And I look at career change options, and the salary for most fields I could get into with just a new masters degree are like 1/2 to 1/3 what I make as a programmer, which is pretty discouraging. I certainly couldn't keep living here where the cost of living is so high. By now I'm just plain overwhelmed with trying to figure it out, and what I really need to do is clean up the kitchen.
a tense and worried Tabitha, surrounded by dirty dishes.
poster:Tabitha
thread:33743
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021218/msgs/33760.html