Posted by Alara on November 3, 2002, at 23:47:54
Hi everyone,
This is extremely hard for me to talk about since I feel ashamed of myself, but I was hoping that some of you may understand something about what I am about to say:
Several years ago I struggled with anorexia and, later, with depression, anxiety and excessive alcohol use. It seemed to be triggered off by a combination of my grandmother's death and my leaving home at a very late age (26). Well, I went through 4 years of therapy and (later) antidepressants and I believe that I have made a good recovery, although I still have a little way to go.
Around three years ago I was made redundant from my permanent job and I was surviving on temp/contract work but somewhere along the line I lost all motivation to get out of bed and get to work on time. I would often call in sick. As a result, I lost a string of jobs and now I have a very poor track record. I am very ashamed to admit that I have not been a very reliable person during the last few years.I am now under a tremendous amount of pressure to get full-time work so that I can support myself, but my work history is now so patchy that I can't seem to get my foot in the door. If truth be known, I still have tremendous difficulty getting out of bed. (Believe me, meds only make it worse, so they're out of the question.) It seems that sleeping protects me from the stress somehow. Once that alarm goes off, my blood pressure sores my stomach starts to churn. I dread the anxiety that the day will bring. I also
find it difficult to cope with the social stress and the noise created by the working environment.Has anyone here been through a similar experience? How did you rehabilitate yourself? I guess these are very difficult questions to answer but I would be very grateful for any insight.
poster:Alara
thread:31967
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021022/msgs/31967.html