Posted by GABBI X2 on October 10, 2002, at 0:37:24
In reply to Re: Ravaged wrecked , posted by Medusa on October 9, 2002, at 23:45:08
Tabitha Sandra Dee Dinah Ginjoint RdJ OH
All of youYeah I'm back sort of.
Medusa thanks again your empathy was music to my ears (or would have been without the Effexor induced tinnutus.
I would like to try to find out where I'm at exactly, without any effexor, before I try anything else.
Most of the pressure to keep meddling before I know whats really going on is that I'm so dependent on everyone else and its scary.
So powerless and scary. And not one small thing to look forward too, nothing even food tastes disgusting.
There's no safe place to go and just be crazy til its over you know. Someone is always watching and concerned, or has expectations I can't meet no matter how basic. I'm wearing everybody out its been 10 years.Some of the added depression I'm sure is simply because of the length of the chemical depression.
It's eaten away at everything.
My needy and helpless hopeless attitude scares people and the more people distance themselves the needier and more hopeless I get.I feel like I'm on some life-support system, where everything is technically running but "me"
If I could even hold down a job. Something so it wouldn't seem as if the world is going on while I'm on pause, I don't even at this point know what I'm trying to get to
Most of its vanished, I'm like bloody Rip-Van-Winkle.Amazingly enough you guys did manage to make me smile, and feel a little warmer.
Ted thanks for reassuring me that I didn't drive everyone away. Its so damn scary.A freak friend of mine did make me laugh by giving me instructions on building a padded room for the home. He said "All you really need is about 100 pillows, some rubber sheets that you can buy at any goth store in the mall, and a staple gun'!
Ah what would we do without that bleak "been there humor"
poster:GABBI X2
thread:30901
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020924/msgs/30999.html