Posted by lawrence s. on September 30, 2002, at 22:25:43
In reply to I don't know how old your kids are..., posted by SandraDee on September 30, 2002, at 17:48:46
> But whatever age they are it's way too dangerous for her to be drinking and driving - especially with them! They have Alateen programs for teens of alcoholic parents too, so you might be able to get your kids involved and let them talk about how they feel.
Thank you for your prayers!
They are ages 5 and 9. Girl and boy.
I don't want to learn to live with an alkie. I just want her to stop. And get out of my life.
I'm disgusted with her bad breath and beer farts. Her sleazy friends and relatives.
I know her driving is dangerous and I've gotten into a thousand arguments with her about it. She always ends up doing what she wants to do.I feel guilty driving off to work and leaving them alone with her. I have tried to prevent her from getting another car. Her last one, I just let fall apart. Mean, are'nt I!
My brother talked me into buying his car. His wife secretly handed my wife a spare set of keys behind my back. Everyone sticks up for her. She goes to her friends and drinks like a fish, and they just let her drive home with the kids in the back.
Why, you must wonder would I have 2 cars. It's because our driveway is a mile long. The kids are too young to walk by themselves in the winter. She picks them up from the schoolbus at the end of the driveway.
My job is 35 miles away. One day while trying to go home, my car would'nt start. I reluctantly called her and asked her to come and get me. She showed up kind of drunk. The guard at the gate told her to pull over and park the car. Then she pulled over to the curb a little too close. The front wheel jumped the curb. The curb crushed the fuel line. Gas was gushing out from underneath the car. I yelled for her to get out. Pulled the kids out. Ran into the factory and got someone to help me push the car out of the way. Luckily the gas stopped flowing after the engine was shut off. I lifted up my kids school backpack and it seemed kind of heavy. I opened it up and there was a opened 12-pack of beer with at least 4 gone. I have come home late at night (I used to work 2nd shift). Stoves are left on. Food laying all over. Cigarettes fallen out of ashtrays. Door left open. I'm affraid to get too attached to my kids for fear that something dreadfull will happen to them. For me, that would be a fate worse than death.
I just seem to be caught in a trap with no way of escape. I often wonder if God is punishing me. Maybe this is hell and I don't even know it. Life seems strange and unreal. Suicide is constantly popping up in my mind. But I'm so affraid of death that I know I would never do it. Could living this way give someone P.T.S.D.?
Sorry for rambling. Time to end this pitty party and go to bed.
poster:lawrence s.
thread:30678
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020924/msgs/30699.html