Posted by Medusa on September 1, 2002, at 4:56:22
I'm so tired of others doing whatever they want to, walking over people, and getting away with it and having happier lives than I do.
It's like they've figured out the REAL rules for life, and I'm hung up on fair and just and right, and they're laughing their heads off at me.
And I still want to convince them they are wrong and I am correct, and I want them to change their lives by the rules I thought we were all supposed to follow. (Fat chance.)
Mostly it's my siblings and my ILs who get to me. DH and I have both been really involved with our families, and been responsible, and our sibs get off scott-free ... and get material affection and glowing reviews poured on them by the parents, while we stand under criticism and are taken for granted.
DH just quit the faaaaaaaamily business, and we're striking off on our own. His family is going to hold this against him for ever. And the REAL reason they'll KNOW he left is the big bad mean old foreign wifey who poisoned him against the family and manipulated him by the mysterious powers of her vagina.
In my own family, of course I'm the black sheep, yet the "good kids" who are on their own have very little contact with the parents, and then derive as much material benefit as possible. The Saintly Sister is about to have her first child, and SO bizarrely, she's turned into a female clone of our father. I dread receiving the birth announcement - I'll be expected to send a gift, and this sister expects me to spend a lot of money but doesn't appreciate quality. For her wedding, I gave them a lead-crystal pitcher, and she said, "I guess we'll appreciate it more when we have a dishwasher." There's so much hurt in the background - a childhood of her being the favorite, the "victim", of her getting the shoes and the coat and me having to duct-tape shoes together and go coatless. And of her apologising for "letting her feelings of superiority get in the way of our relationship."
I'm tired of being irritated by all this. It takes too much energy. I've drawn lots of boundaries and minimised contact with the toxins, and it's still taking up too much space in my head.
(tip for Jay - try to date only orphaned only children.)
Any ideas are welcome. I have so much else to do, and I'm tired of being haunted by these resentments. They're pathetic people, not worthy of my time. I need to be working on my resume and on this bloody insurance case. And I'm hung up on offenses from the past!
I just want to go to bed and stay there. But I can't.
M
poster:Medusa
thread:29697
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020829/msgs/29697.html