Posted by illbeleavinnow on August 1, 2002, at 22:40:36
In reply to Re: Things are Falling Apart « illbeleavinnow, posted by shar on July 12, 2002, at 3:37:19
Know that I took both your advices seriously. I'm not keeping a journal, but I am writing about this, and I guess this is my follow-up. :) But before I talk about how things are going between us (yes, there is an "us" now), here's something that I alawys believed in, and something that has held me together and given me the will to go on.
For as long as I can remember now, I've always believed in true love. This may sound like the ramblings of an ignorant younglin, but believe me, it isn't. I know how to outlet my feelings and know which ones are true and which ones aren't. I believe in whatever feelings are with me at the moment. I believe that everythig does happen for a reason, no matter how hidden it may be. Playing the piano has made me realize this. I always played whatever I felt like, whatever my mood was, and I don't know, that just helped me out. I play for the soul. I play mainly for me. And now I don't play sad songs to depress myself even more, but I play them to realize how grateful I should be for what life has given (and I think it's given more than enough).
But most of all, yes, I have always believed in love, and that has kept me going. I'm not a religious man, but I do believe in something like an angel watching me. I do refer to him as you know, God, but I could call him Susan if I felt like it. He's just my guardian angel, looking out for me. And he didn't put me here to suffer throuh shit. In the end he'll make sure it'll all turn out well, just as long as you stick by him.
ANd because of that I haven't offed myself jumping off a building or sticking a knitting needle through my brain. Because I'm certain that if I stick around things will get better.And get better they did. I'm still wondering about what's really going on between Anna and Jake (I don't know if I gave names, probably shouldn't have had, but Anna is the girl that I like, and Jake is the 21 year old that she says she likes). But I really think she just likes him for looks or something, I don't know. Either way, I know her pretty well, and I think she likes me too. :) I mean, we're almost exact replicas of each other, and I understand quite well. In her own words "You're closer to understanding me than anyone else in the world". That has got to mean something.
Anyways, in short, everything's fine, and sorry that this post isn't as great as my last. I dished all my soul into the piano a few minutes ago. There was none left for this. :)
Joy to the world, power to the people, what have you and whatnot. Avec love.
Dan.
poster:illbeleavinnow
thread:26230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020728/msgs/27806.html