Posted by Fuscia on June 23, 2002, at 18:27:34
In reply to Long rant about med change or not, posted by tabitha on June 22, 2002, at 2:40:49
After reading your post twice, I could only find the good things about your life to make me feel like writing.
You reacted to that bad office assignment with much dissapointment, but look how it turned around for you. I think that is great. If you were dead and gone, then you'd a never known about the change at the office, well, it would have been a waste. As for your ups and downs, well, that is to be expected, isn't it. Be fair to yourself. You've gone through one of the biggest stressors in your life - moving/relocating.
What I read in your letter is you are afraid. Afraid of the hypomania or suicidal urges to take over. I can only plea with you to simply not be afraid. Don't listen to those horrible, uncalled for thoughts that are based on fear. Don't compare yourself with your Mom. You are not her. Don't think for one second that you will end up killing yourself as she did.
I saw an interesting documentary about a very intelligent man that suffered for years from schizophrenia. One day, he simply had had enough and decided to stop listening to the voices. That was all it took for him to lead a normal life, without medication. He decided to not listen to the voices that he allowed to control his life all those years. It was a revelation to say the least.
Enough of the pep talk. I hope the best for you. I hear that Eli Lily is coming out with a new med for bi-polar that is unlike depakote or other anticonvulsants. They claim it doesn't cause depression or mania.
I hope I didn't come across too strong. I can understand how you feel for I too, dislike the flat way I feel on medicines. I feel like a walking tree - medicines have robbed me of much of myself, but at the same time keep me from going over the edge. I know it isn't easy. Talk is.
Sincerely, Fuscia
poster:Fuscia
thread:25571
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020616/msgs/25621.html