Posted by paxvox on June 5, 2002, at 17:39:09
In reply to June 6th is father's b-day.....he's dead., posted by aLII on June 4, 2002, at 4:24:23
Hmmmmm......... sounds like there are some unresolved issues here. However, no demonstrative physical act, like taking flowers to his grave site, is going to "show your respect" for your dad, unless you are worried about what OTHERS think about you. How do YOU feel about you? Do you harbor some guilt because you were "mad" at your father for dying, and leaving you w/o a dad? Hey! That happens to a young kid, it's a normal reaction. My mom died of cancer 10 years ago, sometimes I wonder was I more sad for her or me! This makes me feel selfish, and thus "guilty" for having theses feelings. In reality, it is, again, a very common emotional response to death. I know this sounds corny, but maybe you need to "forgive" yourself, and think positively about the good things your father's life brought about (like YOU for instance!). Do you have siblings? What do THEY do? Is that why you feel inadequate? Try not to compare yourself to them (or anyone else who was close to your dad). Maybe you can do something as simple as planting a tree (or donating one to a school or church) and each year watch the tree grow. Your respect is really how YOU feel, and should NOT be about how you perceive others may feel about you.
PAX
poster:paxvox
thread:25028
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020531/msgs/25088.html