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Do the right thing? » Dinah1

Posted by beardedlady on May 24, 2002, at 13:27:17

In reply to This is not a medication post., posted by Dinah1 on May 24, 2002, at 8:59:33

> I could choose not to take on the obligation, citing the fact that it will certainly be harmful to my mental health. But that would mean killing another part of me, the part that chooses to do the right thing.

I'm sorry. The right thing is? Taking care of your parents at the expense of your health? Is that REALLY what you think? Or is it what you think you SHOULD think? Or what you think OTHERS will think?

What kind of logic says that the right thing to do is put yourself in a no-win situation, one in which you are quite miserable because you're dealing with people you love but who make you feel awful, and also quite uncomfortable because you are on a med that makes you feel like crap? Is it the logic of guilt? The logic of what you owe your parents for bringing you into the world?

> (I'm not looking for medication suggestions. Luvox is one medication that doesn't cause me unbearable agitation.)
> And so I mourn the losses that will accompany taking Luvox. I'll miss orgasms. I really need those IQ points; feeling intelligent is perhaps too important to me, and on Luvox I felt stupid. I will be sorry to lose what little motivation and energy I have. I was so apathetic on Luvox.

What kind of life is this for you, Dinah?

> This post may sound silly, but I am quite serious about it. Making one choice nearly always means mourning opportunities lost.

It sounds to me like you're really looking for someone who will say what you feel too guilty to say yourself. I'll say it. I am not afraid.

Don't sacrifice your SELF. It's all you have. Your parents aren't self-sufficient? Well, that's why we have senior communities and private nurses and nursing homes and all kinds of stuff that is often covered by medicare and insurance. Before you mourn, do a little investigating.

The part of you that does the right thing would be alive and well if you could truly see the right thing. Sacrificing yourself for others is not "the right thing" to do. It is heroism. It is, all to often, martyrdom. The world does not ask that of us, and we should not require it of ourselves.

There are other right choices. I hope you find the one that doesn't hurt ANYONE, especially yourself.

beardy >


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