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What should I do?!

Posted by JK0081 on May 23, 2002, at 13:49:58

Hi

I wasn't going to tell the full truth about my situation when I posted here
because to be honest I am embarassed, but what the hell, here goes.

I'm a 21 year old guy, I live with a friend (a female friend) who is the
only friend that I have who I see on a daily basis. (I have three other
friends, that's all, and I only see them once a week, once a week, and once
every two months respectively - they live in different towns). I have deeper
feelings for the person I live with than she realises. My self esteem is at
an all time low...I have acne (mild to moderate) which I am treating at the
moment, but it really gets me down. People don't make dun of it or anything,
quite the opposite infact, and it seems that I can get on with new people
very easily. I wonder how I got into this situation of not having any real
friends...I don't go out that much either.

I used to be such a positive person and come from such a positive family,
and I know that I will always have support from Kerry (the girl I live
with). BUT very often I feel deserted, not wanted. Example: last night she
was at a friends house and I sent her a message saying "Going to be out all
day 2moro, do you want me to leave the key [so she could get in]". She sent
one back just saying "NO". This is such a petty thing to get down about but
gives an example of how easily I can become depressed. I was supposed to be
going out today but unplugged all the phones and stayed in bed until 2pm. I
still havent been out and am just going to watch TV and then go to bed
later. I wonder though, what is going to be different about tomorrow?
Nothing. I will do the same thing, apart from Kerry will be here - it makes
me happy when she is here, but I get so depressed when she is doing things
with others.

There's so much that gets me down that I can't explain it all on here - this
post is already too long I know but I can't help it! Me and Kerry used to do
things together before we moved into the house, but now we don't. She does
her own thing and I do nothing. I feel like there is no point going
on...does aybody have any suggestions what I should do?

I have considered telling everything to my Mum but can't bring myself to do it....

Thanks
K


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poster:JK0081 thread:24443
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24443.html