Posted by IsoM on May 17, 2002, at 11:52:40
Never had a Barbie doll - hated them & swore if I ever had a daughter, I wouldn't buy her one. Thank goodness, I didn't have to worry about that. But now, some new designs!
------------------------------------------At last - a Barbie we can relate to! Finally, there are some NEW
Barbie dolls to coincide with her aging gracefully. These are a bit
more realistic...1. Bifocals Barbie: Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion
frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print editions of “Vogue” & “Martha Stewart Living”.2. Hot Flash Barbie: Press Barbie's belly button & watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan & tiny tissues.
3. Facial Hair Barbie: As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her
whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers & magnifying mirror.4. Flabby Arms Barbie: Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, 2 mu-mus with
tummy support panels are included.5. Bunion Barbie: Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have
definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her
sores with pumice stone & plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie: Erase those pesky crow's-feet & frown lines with a tube of “Skin Sparkle-Spackle”™, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
7. Soccer Mom Barbie: All that experience as a cheerleader is
really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs & Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue & cooler
filled with doughnut holes & fruit punch.8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie: It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a
change, & Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered,
along with your choice of Prozac or Effexor. They're hopping in her new red Miata & heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."9. Divorced Barbie: Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, & Ken's boat.
10. Recovery Barbie: Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean & sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book & a six-pack of Diet Coke.
11. Post-Menopausal Barbie: This Barbie wets her pants when she
sneezes, forgets where she puts things, & cries a lot. She is sick
& tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through
TV channels. Comes with Depends & Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.
poster:IsoM
thread:23959
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020517/msgs/23959.html