Posted by trouble on April 22, 2002, at 23:01:42
In reply to Re: Storm Warning, posted by Zo on April 22, 2002, at 21:51:40
Hey Pax,
i am so moved by your post, it belongs in a book, it says it all, and I have advice but it may not be good advice at all, it is only the thing that worked for me, and I didn't have a daughter in the mix to consider, that might have changed everything, but his depressions were killing me, they were draining the life force out of me, and it was hard, b/c no one else could stand to be near him b/c his depression was such a heavy force, it took too much out of people to be near him, even though his thoughts, when he did manage to speak were the kind of thoughts you'd go into another room to jot down in a notebook.
This is the dilemma of loving a severely troubled individual, the goodies are better than anything out there, so not having a child to consider (and your concern for how this is affetcting her is IMHO very wise, responsible and fatherly)...anyway long story short I threw his ass out, this was like 8 years ago and today we are closer than ever, but he ended up certifiably insane and spends his life wandering the earth when he's not in a psych ward. So I did the right thing for myself, don't ask me if I did the right thing for him, that's one stone I'm not about to turn over.
I thought the reality of losing me and what we had would send him on the right path, you know, that he would start dealing w/ his material, and do therapy, see a shrink, take care of his mind... but that didn't happen.
Like I say we are close still, but will never live together again, and when he's manic and off his meds I won't have anything to do w/him. It's hard. But I keep thinking what this lady in church told me: do the airline routine, Robin, put the oxygen mask on your own face first, only then will you have any chance of helping someone else.
OK, that's it.
We are here for you, and your wife too. What's the chances of her ever dropping in to tell us what's going on w/her? Have you ever suggested it? Sorry if I don't know the details, I'm a relative newcomer, not familiar w/ everyone's psb history, but I must ask next to you, where is her haven?trouble
poster:trouble
thread:22436
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020422/msgs/22459.html