Posted by mgrueni on April 15, 2002, at 17:06:52
In reply to Just plain out of my mind: Everything is so intens, posted by Cass on April 15, 2002, at 1:11:24
Hi Cass,
First, as I always do when talking to someone I haven`t talked to before here, I want you to know that I am no native english speaker. So, if anything of what I say might come across a little *formal*, or if I sound like an old granny, it`s just because my english vocabulary is limited. Actually I am only 27 :o)
Ok, here we go.
Having experienced a quite similar situation myself a while back, I think I can relate to what you described as "the roller-coaster" of emotions.
I won`t go into the details of my story too much, because it`s you who we are talking about, not me.
Suffice it to say, I felt totally torn apart at that time, unable to make a decision. I then received what I considered good advice: "If you can`t make a decision, simply decide not to make a decision yet."
Well, of course this didn`t work for long, but at least I got a break from thinking for a few days.
I can imagine how your mind must be racing, how overwhelming it all must feel to you. Doesn`t matter how hard you try to think of a solution, the only result of all your thinking is that there`s no way out. Right?
Wrong! I know, this is very hard to do when one finds themselves in such a difficult situation, but please try and calm down, take a deep breath and trust me, this is not the end of the world. I don`t mean to belittle what you are going through, not in the least. I just mean to remind you, there`s something deep down inside you that exactly knows what is the right thing to do. But you can`t hear what this voice is telling you through all that noise your restless thoughts are making. Something that I find quite remarkable about your post:
You wrote:
<Euphoria, guilt, grief.>Wow, I am impressed. I wish I was as able to identify my feelings as clearly as you are. This ability is a precious gift and it will help you to find a solution to your dilemma.
<I have to be honest. I want to be controlled by a good man. That's part of why I love this new man. He's masculine. I want to feel secure. It's so politically incorrect, but it's how I feel. It's how I've always felt, but I would never admit it.>
You just did - and you did very well, too. I am not going to make any suggestions whether to split up with your current partner or not. You seem to know what it needs to make you happy. Maybe this is what it`s all about?
Is something missing in your relationship? Something essential? Do you really have only two options - leave your partner and be with the other one, or stay with your partner and remain unpleased? Maybe there are many other ways you just haven`t thought about yet.
That`s why I said : "don`t make a decision if you are not ready to."
Just take your time and consider your feelings.
All the best wishes,Micha
poster:mgrueni
thread:22072
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020411/msgs/22160.html