Posted by sid on March 18, 2002, at 22:47:09
In reply to Found a Couple of Good (?) Sites, sid, posted by IsoM on March 18, 2002, at 20:27:01
Ah, confusion...
Well, I don't fit the profile anymore because I worked on it... But I do have tendencies. The descriptions of co-dependents fit me somewhat but not completely. I take whatever info that I find useful (CBT type of adjustments), and leave the rest.
Unfortunately, I don't know of web sites about co-dependence. I know an author however: Beattie (a woman). There are a number of authors actually... you can look for info on "adult children" or "adult children of alcoholics" -that fits not only children of alcoholics actually, but those who are usually fit the co-dependency pattern. Many people were forced to take on the role of an adult early in life, and they have co-dependent tendencies later in life. E.g.: my father was emotionally unavailable, a non-violent alcoholic and my mother was illiterate. I obviously had to be responsible for grown-up stuff early in life, just for survival.
Ah, but some co-dependents go the opposite way: they are irresponsible and are a burden to those around them; they follow their parents' example. Co-dependence is a reaction to one's environment as a child, when that environment was not safe or when parents were weak.
I realize I still tend to do things for others faster and better than when it's for me. So I still have tendencies...
- sid
poster:sid
thread:20131
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020314/msgs/20176.html