Posted by sar on March 4, 2002, at 16:28:45
i don't want to be repetitive, but i've been dx'd with almost everything in the book (depression, anxiety, bipolar II the main ones).
today i saw a new pdoc and she asked if i had any "crazy" thinking. "not crazy, just weird," i said. 'cos i'm a weird person. in a nice way though. she looked at me scrutinizingly: "like *what* kind of weird thoughts?" "i dunno..." i said (who doesn't have weird thoughts?) she persisted. "Um, i don't think people should have to wear shoes if they don't want to" was my final answer.
this topic of "crazy thinking" brought us back to the story of the time of my blackest depression. i thought that people were against me, or that i didn't exist...i thought that people were constantly speaking in metaphor...like if they were to say, "So-and-so needs a haircut" i'd immediately think, "are they trying to tell me something? like, that i need a haircut?" it didn't matter what they said really, i always thought it was a hidden message to me.
one time i was with some housemates (with whom i was not getting along) watching Ally McBeal and she was doing a lot of silly things i'd done, and then the Lucy Liu character was too. my housemates were in hysterics. i thought that they were laughing at the show not because it was really so funny, but that because it was so weird that i was as nutty as Ally and Lucy and it was being broadcast at the worst possible moment.
the pdoc called this "psychotic" and "ideas of reference."
i don't do this anymore, and haven't since i crawled out of that hole, but it did last for 2-4 months. meds and time have straightened me out.
however, when she walked me into the nurses office for paperwork she announced, "Well, it appears as if S_____ has schizoaffective disorder!"
this bowled me over.
does anyone out there have the schizoaffective dx? do my symptoms sound familiar?
poster:sar
thread:19250
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020223/msgs/19250.html