Posted by medlib on February 5, 2002, at 13:56:39
In reply to Touch , posted by Dinah on February 5, 2002, at 8:45:15
Hi Dinah--
I've been touch-aversive all my life, as was my mother. I determined that I have Aspergers after learning about it from a Babble poster 21/2 years ago. Mine is an odd hypersensitivity, though; I can handle infants and small children fairly easily, although I initiate touch only in task-oriented contexts. Similarly, I had few problems touching adult patients as a nurse, although I disliked being touched and I delegated back rubs to an aide. I find touching in social settings difficult and awkward, and I like *being* touched even less, even by my adult children. Being rubbed is intolerable.
Preempting the scene by taking action first seems to work best for me; it usually allows me to establish my boundaries without directly refusing contact. In situations where touch is expected, I initiate contact by holding out my hand when I might otherwise be subject to bodily contact. I shake hands firmly, but briefly, and then move quickly back a little further than expected (though distance between conversing adults varies by culture). If someone moves closer to me, I'll retreat the same distance (as inconspicuously as possible). If someone approaches my desk, I'll swivel to face them, papers in hand, and roll my chair slightly away from them as they approach. Where touching seems optional, I'll try to have something in each hand (beverage, purse, papers), then nod and greet them before they can extend their hand. If someone approaches with arms outstretched, I'll even resort to the truth, saying, "I hope you don't mind if we don't hug; my skin is very sensitive today." If pressed for a reason, I'll attribute it to a possible reaction to a new med, whose name I can't remember. Do you experience any difference between touching and being touched?
I don't think that touch hypersensitivity always accompanies Aspergers, nor is it exclusive to that condition. My mother did not have Aspergers, but disliked touching (except my father); my brother has Aspergers and enjoys touching. I wonder occasionally if CBT might be helpful for this problem--it seems to work best for specific phobias.
Good luck on finding strategies that work for you; I hope you'll share them with us.
Well wishes---medlib
poster:medlib
thread:17803
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020202/msgs/17815.html