Posted by paula on January 28, 2002, at 20:24:06
In reply to Re: self-hate as the easy way out. » paula, posted by Fi on January 28, 2002, at 16:46:15
Thanks, Fi, I really needed to hear that. You're right about not being able to predict results. It's taken me the entire last year and a half to trust most of the people I'm surrounded by--despite the fact that they've shown themselves to be trustworthy over and over. I'm a slow learner. :)
"Turn the volume down" is a great metaphor. I've been aware that my "gauges" are off for quite some time now...but it's awfully hard to fly blind AND without instruments! (I'm in uncharted, mixed-metaphor territory--don't know a thing 'bout aviation.) I've been thrilled again and again by the fantastic reponse I've gotten when I reach out. I'm teetering on the edge, actually, 'cause I'm about to the point where I totally let down my guard with a lot of people. It's scary but, ultimately, rewarding.
Thanks for the congrats! (And I definitely put posting in the phonecall/reaching-out category, too. I'm glad to have gotten such thoughtful responses!)
--p
> You've just done something very healthy and very brave, in reaching out. It is a risk, as others have said, but I've found that I cant predict the results- some people I didnt expect to be supportive were, and vice versa. Once you've tried them out, you know who to try another time.
>
> Self-hate is very hard to switch off, but isnt usually an accurate assessment, and its exhausting. If you can 'turn the volume down', or allow yourself an element of doubt that the self-hate beliefs are valid, then that would be great.
>
> But *congratulations* again on giving it a try.
>
> And yes, I'm pretty hopeless seeking help too. Do it a bit but aware of (misguided) relief if I manage to get thru anything really upsetting on my own. Tho I'm sure I would get thru it faster and easier if I swallowed my pride (or whatever) and phoned a friend.
>
> Fi
poster:paula
thread:17351
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020125/msgs/17415.html