Posted by finelinebob on January 25, 2002, at 1:41:09
In reply to need some help....long but advice is needed.. thx, posted by Tammy on January 21, 2002, at 23:44:36
I've got an ABD (all but dissertation) at the end of my name and not a PhD (piled high and deep ... true all the same, tho) because I was too screwed up to know I needed help. "Seven years of college down the drain"....
I am perfectly happy with that ABD, tho, after living with it for five years, because I finally learned that I could do what I wanted to do with my life and not what I thought I **should** do with it. After being an educator for 18 years in one form or another, I finally woke up to the fact that (1) while I'm an extremely good teacher and (2) I enjoy the act of "teaching" immensely, (3) the world of education as it exists these days was making me ill. I quit, got a job doing what had been my hobby (web design) and, for the first time in my life, was able to "take refuge in my work" when life was kicking me elsewhere.
Well, that is, until I lost my job. But that's another story ;^).
Anyway, by the time you're ABD, writing that last paper is more an exercise in jumping through hoops than writing. I was willing to do the writing AND willing to jump through the hoops ... EXCEPT that where I'd land on the other side of the hoops wasn't where I wanted to be. Apparently, my subconscious was five years ahead of my conscious mind on this one ... it knew even before then that I was doing the wrong thing.
hope that helps...
btw -- did your doc tell you (or do you know) that Wellbutrin is also marketed as Zyban? The "anti-smoking-addiction" drug? (And, I hear, they charge four times the cost of Wellbutrin if you get it as Zyban!). I never smoked, but Wellbutrin made me psychotic. Have you thought about acupuncture? My primary care doc, who is also an acupuncturist, uses it for smoking cessation as well as for treating anxiety. Now, the idea of getting stuck with needles as a way to reduce anxiety may sound bonkers, but this needle-phobic nailbiter is a convert.
cheers,
flb
poster:finelinebob
thread:17052
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020112/msgs/17186.html