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Am I depressed or what?

Posted by bonnie_ann on January 14, 2002, at 11:26:37

I am married 33 w/one child.
I am socially handcapped. Fearful that some judge me talk badly about me. I am quiet and may appear needy.
I watch and observe and join in occasionally.
I dred meeting new people. I just think that I am not entertaining enough and they will be disapointed and not want to get involved. I am polite, but not free with words and don't like to talk about personal things, cause thats all I do in my head all day.
The weather only gets you so far, gossip is easy- but I don't like to. Seems like everyone is in competition with each other or they put themselves down
or they are horribly superficial.
I hardly ever meet people with the same goals and attitudes my husband and I have.
Work friends are real easy cause you work together and usually you find out more than you want to know about poeple.
But when it comes to meeting my husbands work friends- I hate it. I feel so boring dull and blah. I used to drink which made it easier and not such a big deal.
Now I have no alcohol to hide behind and the medication only helps so far.
He really wants to do this and I just don't have the desire too. I'd rather stay home and watch a movie.
I've been letting my husband in on my insecurity- he thought he was helping by setting up a dinner out.
I don't want to and I'm mad that he is isisting on this.
I am depressed because I just don't want to go and give it a try? I really think that I'm fighting it for more than this reason.
Thanks
Bonnie


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poster:bonnie_ann thread:16745
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020112/msgs/16745.html