Posted by kid_A on January 5, 2002, at 18:01:26
In reply to What is an ex-cutter to do?, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2002, at 20:20:39
> I have made a probably rash and ill-considered promise to myself to never cut myself again.
It's probably been about, maybe, 2 months since i cut myself last, before that it had been a very long time but it was in the middle of a breakdown and it was enough to nulify the feelings that led up to it... I look at the scars daily, I stopped just cutting a while ago and started cutting words, I'm a writer and I hold a great appreciation for the word... So in one arm is the word WHORE, in the other JESUS... what a dichotome...
I never make promises, like has been said, its easier just to admit to the fact that you are at the moment in a stage of non-cutting... Medication has certainly helped my cutting, though lately I've been so broke that my meds have been cut down drasticly...
I can't say that I'm an ex-cutter, for me it still holds a great fascination... if you have a chance, read the poem Cut, by Sylvia Plath, its more about mental illness care than cutting, In fact it may not even be about cutting at all, though when read it does instill some of the fascination of cutting, as well as the ritualistic aspect and obsessive feelings that cutting induces...
When I'm somewhat stable I write, when Im very unstable I cut, this is my story... some stories don't have endings, just open pages that you fill in as you go along, and eventually as you learn more about why you cut, it begins to hold less fascination, and someday you don't cut any more...
Wishing you luck and easy love.
Kid.
poster:kid_A
thread:16302
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020102/msgs/16322.html