Posted by sar on December 12, 2001, at 12:21:36
In reply to Re: WendyB » sar, posted by wendy b. on December 11, 2001, at 17:42:34
> Hey, lovey,
>
> Seems like whatever I'm going through (not too bad anymore) is silly stuff compared to your nightmare stuff with your mother and brother - did they really beat you? Are you ok?i'm okay now...it really jolted me though because it hasn't happened in years, though i did grow up in a pretty abusive/neglectful home. i called my boyfriend the next night and he came from austin and visited me, took me to dinner + movie...he really is wonderful.
but really Wendy, i think what you're going through psychologically is just as valid--if not more so--than whatever money/unsteadiness issues i have right now. i'm crawling out of my depression. i'd rather be poor and work a weird job than go through pure mental misery. i haven't felt this good (i finally feel okay) in a long time. nearly 2 years.
I'm very concerned about it, and hope you are out of there forever. My issues right now seem to be about taking care of everyone else, to such an extent that I ignore my own needs and wants, some acting out (forever it seems, Freud's "doomed to repeat" alive and well, in me) of the old family position I took on as a child, or so the shrink says. I also am forever wondering about my neurontin mono-therapy (as opposed to adding something else like depakote or li or even another anti-convulsant like topamax or lamictal or carbamazepine, all of which I've been reading about (that's what I do when I don't post, I catch up on all the PB and PSB traffic)... And it's hard to tell if the Wellbutrin is doing anything anymore.
go see your pdoc. from what i understand, neurontin is actually prety mild stuff-i like it, but you may need something more...my own uneducated opinion!
i want to recommend this book to you--it's about Trauma Re-enactment Syndrome, and it reads like a psychology or anthropology book rather than a self-help book. i have really good taste in books (: and i think you might want to check it out--the cover and back description are pretty extreme, but just ignore that and dive in. it's called Women Who Hurt Themselves, by Dusty Miller. i'm reading it for the third time.
and here's something basic--you can't really take care of others if you've not taken care of yourself properly, right? please take care of yourself, okay?
> When do you go to Austin, or are you already there? The boyfriend sounds like Miracle Man, hope all is well with that part of your life... Let me know, I want to know, and lots of hugs,
the move is this weekend. i'm skeared! but the boyf and my girl-friend there are beautiful people, and loyal...i think it'll be ah-right.xoxoxoxo,
sar
>
>
> > hello girlie-girl,
> >
> > i understand that you're going through a difficult phase right now. i just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts, that i miss your posts, and i hope that you soon feel better.
> >
> > love,
> > sar
poster:sar
thread:15344
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011207/msgs/15397.html