Posted by Marie1 on December 2, 2001, at 8:15:09
In reply to Re: Where are you Marie1, posted by Mair on December 1, 2001, at 21:55:12
Mair,
"Sound familiar?" ?? If I didn't know better, I would swear I wrote your post!
Christmas has gotten so out of hand; everyone's expectations are so artificially pumped, especially my kids, and I don't want them to be disappointed, especially in the gift department. Maybe because I feel guilty for other things? I don't know... I remember the anti-climax of Christmas when I was a kid, and have come to think that's a natural reaction. Yet I don't want my kids to feel that way. My family is scattered all over the east coast, so we invariably travel, and that adds to the stress. Or if I'm hosting, and we're home, that's even worse. And then my sister, who has one daughter, roughly my youngest daughter's age, really goes nuts with presents for her daughter, which causes some resentment. We'll be at their house this year, and I'm not packing up the "Santa" gifts, so there can't be any comparison.
This year is especially very sad for me; I lost my older brother this past summer (he was 48), and that still hurts incredibly. We were the two oldest, so in some ways, we shared a bond that I don't have with my other sibs (there are 4 left living; we lost another brother in 1997). My husband told me he's worried that I might "get sick" (our euphemism for my bouts of major depression) this Christmas. But as long as I keep taking my meds and try not to think too much, I'll be all right. I'm sorry you apparently feel the same way I do about the holidays. There has to be a better way, doesn't there?
On a lighter note, our new house in on the outer perimeter of a golf course, and I have actually woken up to see men searching for their golf balls right outside my window! So, for me, window coverings are imperative!
Take care of yourself.Marie
> >
> Marie - I'm glad you're ok, sort of. I've cured the problem of window coverings by living far enough out in the country that i don't need them. If someone's peeping in the window, they've gone to some effort to put themselves somewhere where they could see something. It makes visitors damn uncomfortable (no shades) and makes it tough to sleep in, but it's now what I'm used to.
>
> I pretty much fall apart every year between Thanksgiving and Xmas. The day after Thanksgiving, my local store was piping in George Winston's piece "December" and all the Xmas trees and wreaths were being put out to sell. I'm never ready - I can never quite get into the swing of things as quickly as I need to. I'm always busier than i want to be at work, so I don't have the time to shop etc, and I invariably get sick. My family arrives in droves which puts my husband in a funk, which makes me very anxious. I would love to make xmas a simpler less costly occasion, but that feels like it would take more effort and thought and certainly more cooperation from my family. I just feel like we throw money at it (the money part always makes me feel a little nervous) and it's so much more stressful than i want it to be. I think I try too hard for perfect to and feel too much like I'm responsible for everyone else's Xmas too. It doesn't help that I've had some sort of depressive relapse around this time of year pretty much what seems like every year for the last tons of years. It's like i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and if i think about it enough, for sure it will. Does any of this sound familiar?
poster:Marie1
thread:14512
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/14734.html