Posted by wendy b. on December 1, 2001, at 14:57:28
In reply to Re: Wendy where are you? :), posted by sar on November 30, 2001, at 15:57:03
> welcome back!
>
> this is just an idea, but do you think your therapist is doing kind of a tough-love thing? a friend of mine hated it when her therapist would say "poor baby" (not sarcastically) and "you must have felt so weak"...etc. My friend wanted someone to be tougher on her.
>
> when i had a psych, i always felt all pent-up and lump-in-throat when i walked in. i think you should be able to speak and act freely, without fear.
>
> love,
> sar
That's what I think, too. I hate tough-love kinds of menthods, though. I think tough love is a passive-aggressive ploy, and not good therapeutic strategy for people whose inner anxieties are high. For me, it backfires.
My last shrink was very empathic (the new therapo-feelgoodio coinage for 'empathetic'???). She listened and said things like "oh, that must have been very hard for you," or, "That sounds awful..." Which, for someone like me, whose feelings were scrunched from a very early age, was reassuring and calming. She helped me identify basic feelings of loss and grief. I had never had my feelings validated by anyone before in my life.Bad news is that I started about 30 years later than I should have. Good news is that I expect the next decade to go a little more smoothly.
Thanks for your message, love ya,
W.
poster:wendy b.
thread:14406
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011130/msgs/14678.html