Posted by Mitch on November 14, 2001, at 23:37:31
In reply to Suggestions Requested: What To Do With Your Mother, posted by susan C on November 14, 2001, at 13:26:52
> Hello,
>
> What do you do with your mother when she comes to visit (she is staying in a nearby motel that has shuttle service)?
>
> And you, as daughter, do not go out, do not drive, have a routine of having quiet alone days.
>
> That she knows you deal with Bipolar 2, is a retired psych nurse administrator (82) and wanted to go to pdoc appt to 'learn more' about illness. (i sent her a book)
>
> When, as daughter you are worried she will do what she had done before, which is judge, or, try to come up with shoulds, coulds, and ask questions or talk or talk about siblings.
>
> any suggestions would be appreciated.
>
> a mouse wanting to go hide
> susan C
Hi Susan,I wouldn't Let It Get You Down (Neil Young pun intended!). The thing that helps me overcome all of the emotional reactivities that accompany parental criticality, etc. was to just say to yourself something like this: "This other human being *happens* to be my parent, and has had an existence experience about as common as mine as this planet is to Pluto. Listen to and comfort this human and make them feel better if possible, but DISENGAGE from the emotional baiting. Sometimes your parents just want to fight to feel alive! It gets their adrenaline going, distracts them from their own headaches, and gives them a sense of purpose. Just acknowledge what they say, but don't let it tear you all up. When you stop engaging and taking the bait, they tend to stop fishing for a fight.
Good luck,Mitch
poster:Mitch
thread:13899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011105/msgs/13941.html