Posted by Anna laura on November 10, 2001, at 2:16:08
In reply to Help!! My Depakote is working, posted by Dinah on November 7, 2001, at 17:03:20
> Well, after two weeks on my new dosage of Depakote,I can really say it's working. I am feeling virtually no anxiety or agitation, haven't taken Klonopin for days, and am sleeping just fine. I also don't feel stupid or foggy.
> Depakote also seems to be increasing my natural tendencies to dissociate and to feel unconnected to other people, as well as to myself. I am getting the unsettling feeling that everything around me is a movie almost constantly.
> Now that I am no longer grounded by anxiety and agitation, I am feeling more and more like an As-If person, an empty shell going about the activities of living.
> Is it better to feel miserable but alive? Is there life without anxiety and depression? What can fill that empty space? Is it the anxiety and agitation I miss or the other things that Depakote may have affected? My therapist had a hard time staying awake in session today. I told him that if he could remember that feeling of incredible boredom, he would have a pretty good idea of how I'm feeling this last week or so.
> I feel incredibly perverse not to feel grateful that the constant anxiety is gone. How can I possibly miss it? Maybe I just need to learn new ways to function without an overactive nervous system.
Hi DinahI've been in your shoes: i've been suffering from extreme anxiety to the point i got stuck in the throes of absolute horror and i didn't know how to escape that. I was willing to do anything to terminate that pain at that point, so i would take any medication to stop the pain, but it wouldn't work as i wanted to: i would get the total boredom reaction : i would feel like i was dead. Your reaction to depakote is suggesting me that it might not be the right med for you. you don't have to feel guilty if you can't feel good enough: the apathetic mood you're experiencing it's definetely not endurable: it can be even worse then anxiety in the long run: i used to call that effect "hell with air conditioning"; after six months of living like that i quit the medication: i preffered to experience extreme anxiety rather then feeling as i was dead. Beware that some drugs could "switch you off" permanently and make you apathetic in the long run. I would prefer to go on with an oversensitive nervous system if i were you, but it's choiche at the end..
My advice to you is to find a drug that would work enough to eliminate the worst part of anxiety and leave you reactive enough to be able to control and manage anxiety "leftovers".
That's what i did when i had your problem: my pdoc prescribed me imipramine (a Tca that has anxyiolitc propertied).
Good luck
poster:Anna laura
thread:13624
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011105/msgs/13748.html