Posted by Greg A. on October 25, 2001, at 1:09:21
Seven weeks tomorrow but who's counting? So how is my life different without my nightly dose of alcohol? Well it's 11:00 p.m. here and i am not stumbling off to bed. It was never really a bad stumble, although there were lots of times i would wake up on the couch with the TV on, not quite sure if I was supposed to be up or in bed. Do I enjoy my sober evenings? I guess I do. I like being more in control rather than alcohol controlling me. I am not as quick to anger with my kids. Because I don't drink and i don't suffer the after effects either, I get more accomplished in a day. So that's good But . . . I am increasingly anxious in the late afternoon and evenings. That worries me. Anxiety has been a big problem for me and I don't need it back again. Funny though - I am not looking at alcohol as a way to relax right now. I am trying exercise and some woodwork projects instead. I think my wife figures she can't win. Before I would withdraw in the evenings and drink. Now I withdraw or isolate myself in my workshop or go to the gym. I hope she gives me the time to sort this out.
I hadn't planned on a rambling post here. I was just going to give a few thoughts on how my days are different now. I find a lot in common with those of you who are questioning the amount you drink, or why you drink. I asked those questions for a good portion of my life. When I would stop drinking for a month or two and not feel better, I would always start again, thinking, well that's not the problem. But even if it's not the root of my 'illness' it is a problem in itself.Thanks for the chance to ramble.
Greggy (for short)
poster:Greg A.
thread:12961
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011015/msgs/12961.html