Posted by Kristi on October 18, 2001, at 1:11:52
In reply to Re: Feeling very alone, posted by Gracie2 on October 17, 2001, at 22:20:43
HI GLENN....
I'm so glad to see you back!!!! My computer has crashed, once again, and I'm using a friends. Not back on aol yet, so if I've missed anything, I'm sorry.
I hope everything is ok..... I'm so sorry for all you've gone thru.... you really have been in my thoughts.
I know how you feel.... I hate that loneliness. I can be surrounded by friends and still be lonely. If I knew how to get rid of that pit in the stomache ache.... I would pass it on.... UGH. Hang in there, your on the right track. Your in my prayers kiddo, Kristi
>
> Glenn-
> Congatulations for having the chutzpah to admit yourself to a psychiatric hospital. I felt the same way you did (especially because I was admitted involuntarily), scared of the other patients and what people would think when they found out about my stay in a mental ward. I would not allow my husband to tell anyone that I was there, although I had to tell them at work. I was really embarrassed at being locked down and wanted nothing more than to go home.
>
> It was the right place for me to be, though. When I got in there, I was so stressed that I felt like someone had taken my head and twisted it around on my neck like the rubberband to the propeller on one of those little balsawood airplanes (remember those?). I got a little better every day, though, from the lack of stress. The only decisions I had to make was what to have for meals. No work, no housework, no shopping or cooking or bills, no family problems.
> I didn't even have to decide what to wear, since we all dressed in scrubs. Because I have hypertension, my blood pressure was taken several times a day, and it dropped steadily without a change of medication. Most of the staff - the psychiatrists, the social workers, the nurses and aides - were friendly, concerned, and willing to talk or just listen.
> I was lumped into a small group of narcotics abusers and, strangely enough, (or maybe not) we were all medical professials. One was actually a doctor - a resident - addicted to cocaine. Another was a male nurse addicted to everything.
> We were forced to attend classes given by an ex-drug user who had not only gone straight with a vengeance (nobody is more righteous than an ex-anything) but preached to us in his best fire-and-brimstone bible-thumping style, something between an evangelist and a drill sergeant. He was pretty annoying. One day he asked, "What makes you happy!
> Think of one thing that makes you happy!" he yelled at me. I couldn't resist yelling back, "A
> full bottle of Percocet!" The nurse hollered, "Amen!" and we all laughed like hell. I thought the guy was going to stroke out right there, but luckily for him we all knew CPR. I was banished to my room, but that was my only set-back. Otherwise I did quite well.
>
> Going home WAS frightening. All of a sudden you are again responsible for yourself and all the day-to-day decisions a normal adult must make; it was almost like culture shock. It helped to maintain frequent contact with the psychiatrist I had seen in the hospital and, for awhile, I kept in contact with the friends I had made there, though eventually we all got on with our separate lives.
> If you can help it, don't jump back into the "real world" head first. Avoid big decisions
> and stressful situations. Be good to yourself however you are able - take naps, read good books, have regular massages, get a dog whose main function in life is to worship you (but not a puppy, unless you are familiar with dog training), take long walks and go to movies, things you enjoy. Pretend that you are someone else who you love dearly and treat yourself accordingly.
>
> I wish you strength and happiness.
> -Gracie
>
poster:Kristi
thread:12605
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011015/msgs/12643.html