Posted by Wendy B. on October 11, 2001, at 15:19:22
In reply to In The Eye Of The Storm...mental musing out loud., posted by jay on October 10, 2001, at 21:04:03
jay,
believe it or not, i was just thinking about this the other day. i have so many days, or partial days, of just bumming, feeling separate from the world, i make myself a cucoon (sp??) and don't talk to anybody, don't call anybody, just stay in and hibernate and wallow in black moods that are sooooo hard to get out of.
but, when i have good moments, moments of lightness and clarity, i wish i could just *capture* them, write them down or express them, somehow, to someone else, like: here's this beautiful sunset over the lake, the hills and the trees turning color are marvelous, how can i capture that? here's a smell, a smell of roasted coffee beans, it greets me as i come through the door when i get home from work, from the hot water i poured through the grounds, in the filter, this morning. how can i get this smell to move someone else as it does me? but then there is also the sun filtering in through the blinds, on my wood floors, it's a warm, fulfilling sight, and i never want to live anywhere else, because i'll never get that coffee smell and that light coming in again, ever, anywhere...
jay, you're right, i want to freeze it, i want to share it with the world, want to press the button you talk about to get me there. especially, as you say, when things get so bad and black and lonely...
with you 100%,
wendy
>
> You ever recall those times when in the middle of all the crazy feelings, the fear, the screams, the pain, the anxiety, everything slowed down...like a cool breeze after a blazing hot summer day..laying in an open field, watching the sky and clouds whizz by.
>
> Man, if only we could freeze that moment in time. Freeze our emotions, our state of mind.
>
> I find "daydreaming" helps bring me to this place. What I will do is look at pictures, and listen to music from a time I was in such a place, or mental state. It's like a place I go in my mind, and it's hard as hell to get to, but I am finding I can get there. The more I go, the better. But, again..it's tough to get to!
>
> Now, if only I had a button I could push to take me there...I would share it with the world. :-)
>
> Jay
poster:Wendy B.
thread:12372
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011006/msgs/12402.html