Posted by sar on September 17, 2001, at 9:22:02
In reply to Re: this friend o mine » sar, posted by shelliR on September 16, 2001, at 12:13:38
dear all,
thanks for the good advice!
i think my problem is that i have a marytr complex. i don't really want him in my life as much as he is, but i taking care of people really thrills me in some way purely for selfish reasons.
i've decided to tell him not to call me at work anymore. no one has ever called me at work so excessively, screaming about suicide is a red alarm that i'm a sucker for, a stoopid one tho! i've got to tell him to get a therapist or if he threatens suicide on me i'll tell him i'm going to call the police...he's attempted suicide 14 times with pills, and he told me that a doctor once suggested that next time he use a gun. i just feel horrible that he lives in this existence and that beneath all of the craziness is a truly beautiful, compassionate, poetic person...he's just covered in this depressing schizo-sludge drunk right now...
i am one half and it's my responsibility to tone the relationship down to what *i* want it to be too, if he feels all the freedom to call me so much i should feel just as much freedom to set clearer boundaries.
he doesn't want to save himself, he wants someone else to save him, he says all he needs is to fall in love and everything will be all right...and i don't know if he has his sights set on me...that would just add another sticky discomfort, i've no idea...
i'm just writing all of this out for myself. still trying to figure it out. if you've read this far, treat yourself to a moonpie and some penny candy, sweets.
the taoist says: do nothing. the fact that i don't ever call him must say a lil something, as his calls have decreased.
i wish you could save people
i hate the truth.
thanks for the wisdom, KB, Nikki, dreamer, Shelli, and Wendy.
love,
sar
poster:sar
thread:11424
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010915/msgs/11470.html