Posted by Diane J. on August 29, 2001, at 17:46:40
In reply to looking for opinions, advice on having a baby..., posted by Cindylou on August 29, 2001, at 13:48:29
Hmmm... this is a difficult question, but I will give you my thoughts for what they're worth. I have two daughters who are now 14 and 10 years old. After I had the first one I was absolutely petrified at the thought of having another. I was not on medication then, but I was extremely anxious and did end up suffering from postpartum depression.
When I got pregnant with my second child, I was very upset because I was so afraid that I would experience that depression again and the horrible anxiety. Well, I put that fear aside, eventually, and I gave birth to a beautiful, sweet little girl. This time I did not suffer the horrendous depression as I had after my first child.
I think the reason for this is that the situation was different. I had been through a pregnancy and infancy and toddlerhood before and I was better prepared for all the challenging situations. Also, Baby #2 was an "easy" baby, always smiling and good about taking naps! My older daughter was 4 years old and she was big enough to help out. My husband was also a big source of support, and he was more confident of his parenting abilities this time.
I think if you decide to have another baby it would probably be a good idea to know there is someone who can help you out. I mean, maybe there is someone who can babysit once in a while so you get some time to yourself, or maybe there is someone who also has young children who you could get together with on a regular basis. It helps to know you are not alone, that you are not the only one having those feelings.
I cannot claim to have been anxiety and depression-free, but it was not debilitating the second time around. I wish you the best in making your decision.
Diane J.
> Hi,
> This is my first post to Psycho-Social Babble -- I'm usually in the medication section.
>
> And this might be too weighty of a topic, I'm not sure. But I am having a difficult time deciding whether to have another baby or not ... I thought it might help to ask some people who may have been in my position before.
>
> I'm 37 years old, and have a 21-month old daughter. I really want her to have a brother or sister, and can't wait too long to decide what to do (since I'm getting up there in years.)
>
> I've had chronic depression for several years and have been treated with medication for about 12 years. When I was pregnant, I got off the medications and did fine, until shortly after I delivered my baby. Then I suffered horrible postpartum depression and anxiety. I had a terrible time getting back on medications -- I was extra sensitive to everything. Just now, I'm starting to feel human again.
>
> SO ... I am trying to decide ... should I go through it all again? Would it be fair to the new baby and my toddler if I go through the postpartum mess again? (I most likely will, according to research. Plus, it's supposed to get worse after each pregnancy.) I don't feel comfortable staying on meds while I'm pregnant -- I had a miscarriage when I was on Zoloft and Wellbutrin, even though I got off the meds as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I'm currently on Prozac and Wellbutrin.
>
> My other option is adoption -- but would it be difficult on the kids if one is adopted and one isn't?
>
> Thanks for letting me pour this out to you. I appreciate opinions, experiences, advice, whatever.
>
> -cindy
poster:Diane J.
thread:10449
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010825/msgs/10462.html