Posted by AKC on July 26, 2001, at 14:35:39
In reply to Strange bunch, I think not ..., posted by Willow on July 26, 2001, at 14:04:20
Now, now, now -- I meant strange bunch in the best of ways. This board has been so good to me in the short time I have been here. When I thought, so mistakenly, I did not belong, you all reached out and made me feel so much at home. We are a bunch of folks who have been hurting a long time who have found each other and are leaning on one another - thank god. I feel the same way about the women in my group therapy.
Let me digress for a moment. I have been in AA for close to three years now. And have never really fit in. And I think it has a lot to do with my mental illness (and with my childhood). Most of those there are just a bunch of drunks who are able to work those 12 steps (and rely on a pretty traditional concept of a higher power). It ain't been working for me.
Two years ago, when I was so suicidal, I had AA people tell me that I was in the wrong, that I wasn't working my program because I was taking "mood altering" drugs. Obviously, they did not have a clue. In How it Works it says "There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorder, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest." Everytime that is read at the beginning of a meeting, that is speaking of me.
Getting into group therapy with 6 other women, who suffer from severe mental illness, who come from abusive childhoods. Finding this board. These things are as critical for my recovery as finding topamax.
Willow, I don't think you need to be in a nursing home - do you need a therapist along with a pdoc? Probably. Do you need a supportive group in person as well as this group here? Probably. Are you in denial? I don't think so. You are where you are -- when you are ready to deal with whatever needs to be dealt with, you will do so.
I'm not sure of the point I am trying to make. I'm kinda rambling. I guess I am just trying to emphasize that we are all in this together - that this board is very important to me. Am I addicted to it? I don't think so - it is helping me, not harming me. When I think of addiction, I think of my alcoholism, and this is nothing like that. (Though, I was joking with a good friend of mine about what does it mean if I am posting "I am woman, hear me ROAR" posts?).
Anyway, I'll quit rambling, so this doesn't archive in a single day.
Your resident hounddog.
poster:AKC
thread:8045
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010726/msgs/8048.html