Posted by AKC on July 6, 2001, at 7:15:52
In reply to conflicting theories, posted by sar on July 6, 2001, at 3:57:14
hmmm . . .
mixed state bipolar - I think that is me.
My pdoc has been trying to "label" me bipolar for near 2 years now and I have been resisting like you wouldn't believe (why? I have no idea!). Anyway, I know I am not that classic, manic-depressive type. But, having done much reading, I have started to believe that maybe this mixed state thing fits me to a certain point.
Why? Well this is my description. My depressions are horrible - suicidal, no motivation, that whole thing. But yet, I can fool the whole world. I can go to work and put a smile on my face. I have had non-professionals even accuse me of not being depressed because I could smile! I think this is where the mixed state comes in. Because often when I am depressed, I am highly agitated. I suffer from great anxiety - and this often is at its peak when I am suffering from a depressed episode.
What will often happen with me is that if this continues for too long, I will ultimately completely crash - I will sink completely into the depression. But for a period, which can be many days, I will be zooming and depressed at the same time.
I've really only come to recognize this recently. My latest bout, I managed to kick in a cabinet door - yet, I was closer to committing suicide than I have been since my last attempt two years ago. It is these types of signals that appear to be mixed - the smiling yet suicidal thoughts type mixed.
Hope this helps.
AKC
poster:AKC
thread:7115
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7118.html