Posted by sar on July 1, 2001, at 12:08:06
In reply to u people r startin' to scare me, posted by yo-wazzzup on July 1, 2001, at 11:28:49
yo-wazzup,
wass up? I had the same feeling as you when I first started visiting this board a few months ago. I couldn't imagine myself in a hospital, freaked me out, and I wouldn't even tell my psych about my suicide ideation because I thought the law was that if you even mentioned it they'd cart you away. She told me that's totally not true and made me promise to be honest with her, which i was finally able to do, like 5 months into working with her.
how are you mentally ill?
some people benefit from the hospital and some don't. I went because my ideation had become more than ideation. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me if all I could think about was how nice it would be to hang from a tree, if i was nervous and crying and uncomfortable all the time.
Going to the hospital for me was just throwing my hands up in the air to say I'VE NO IDEA WHATS WRONG WITH ME OR THE STRENGTH OR COGNITION TO FIGURE IT OUT, YALL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS PLEASE HELP ME OUT, GIVE ME SOME *INTENSE* CARE please please please please please...
you're not doomed to anything. it's all your own choice. we all deal with things in different ways. You've made it clear that you have neither the time nor the desire to go off to the loony bin. Then you should not go.
Life is fluid, things change, and we aren't doomed to anything. It's all your choice.
I was scared when I went. I thought they'd take me to the State hospital with the real crazies and Nurse Ratchetts. I got lucky and they took me to a quaint little place with pink bedspreads and comedian orderlies and aides.
I often think that I'm not a very strong person. I'm very weak, truth be told. I get all freaked out and stressed out quite easily, and I just did what I felt like doing.
My dad is severely depressed, not on meds, and has never been to the hospital. He retired in his forties, and ever since, he's been sitting on the couch holding his head in his hands listening to opera with his eyes closed. He's got a lot of pride. He would hate being in the hospital.
& me...well, it was just the right thing to do at the time.
i believe this wholeheartedly.
sar
poster:sar
thread:6970
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010628/msgs/6972.html