Posted by dreamer on June 7, 2001, at 17:46:10
My family ruined my childhood and early teens unloved and abused.I moved to London with a creative career ahead of me full of hope and the need for loving friends with plenty to give.I found out everwhere's the same, no somewhere over the rainbow.
I was used, I gave in, I was dead.I inherited a mental illness I couldn't defend myself, my feelings hurt, every day paranioa, so weak.
I drank heavily for years I was hoping for love hoping that my honesty my goodness wasn't broken by lies.Always lies.
Now I'm getting better but a close friend of whom I considered a soul mate has told endless lies the only person I had ever trusted.
I feel alone I feel I'm in hell or that I'm in a bad dream . My body is being torn apart, my mental state shakey.I have no direction ,no good times to look back on,soon nowhere to live and I'm so calm because I've remained a good person.
I don't believe in God but I look to the sky for answers. Daydreams full of hope.
poster:dreamer
thread:6331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010526/msgs/6331.html