Posted by elderweissblue on May 29, 2001, at 18:14:12
In reply to Re: DYING?, posted by Willow on May 28, 2001, at 22:04:52
Iam trying to survive. tonight the aloneness is unbearable. tommorow Ill be prescribed celexa by my psych and Iam scared of taking it but it seems I have little choice to try it. I dont want to live like this. Its so opressive. I want it to stop now. I hope this medication will do something for me, what if it does nothing, thats another scary thought. I go from anxiousness with chronic boredom to depression. Then sometimes iam ok in the sense that Iam surviving. Iam angry at myself because iam such faliure in life, so many people who post have all these interesting jobs or are married. Iam alone, except for my dad. I cant connect to people. I feel so different so alien. I want my life to change, Ive been like this for so long, Iam 34 now. I have survived by getting lost in my thoughts. I laugh at my own pain alot, my only release, my only pleasure. My psych gave me zyprexa for this but Iam not taking it anymore. Now she wants to give me celexa instead.
Iam so tired, so tired, of continuing. I cant achieve goals, no job, I have no motivation to do much but walk about in a daze.
poster:elderweissblue
thread:6213
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010526/msgs/6225.html