Posted by Diane J. on April 15, 2001, at 19:41:22
I saw a clinical psychologist for therapy for 4 years. It was my first experience with therapy, and I suppose everything went on in a pretty normal fashion for a while. However, gradually the therapy became verbally and emotionally abusive, and I terminated therapy with her about a year ago. It was a bad break-up.
Now I have another therapist, and even though I vowed I would not let myself like her, eventually I have come to like, admire, and respect her. We have a healthy relationship, perhaps the total opposite of what I had with my first therapist.
The reason I am writing is because I come into contact with the first therapist, Dr. H., in some fashion on a semi-regular basis. I mean, for example, I will see her at the psychiatrist's office (they share the same set of suites) or else I will go to my regular M. D. and discover that his new receptionist is the one who used to work at her office. Even my kids and hers have the same pediatrician! This is not a small town. There are over 90,000 people in this community alone, and there are other cities adjoining it.
I do not understand why I continue to be SO UPSET whenever I see or hear about her. I used to be angry, but that part seems to have disappeared. The contact (even by proxy) with Dr. H inevitably causes me to be anxious, agitated, and tearful.
I have just finished going off Effexor. I did it the way one should, going down slowly in increments of 75mg at a time until I was at 37.5mg and then 0. I told my new therapist I felt I had needed a high dosage just to be able to deal with Dr. H. Of course, she was appalled that I would be taking an antidepressant so I could stand my therapist. (I had preexisting depression.)
My present therapist is very supportive, and she listens to me talk about Dr. H again and again. I think she is wonderful. Things would be pretty bad without her, I know. But sometimes I feel as if Dr. H is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Why do I feel so anxious, agitated, and unhappy when I come into contact with her (even by proxy)? Do you think this is a situation that just takes time to get over? (And more time?) Or does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks for reading this post.
poster:Diane J.
thread:5681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010404/msgs/5681.html