Posted by Dubya on April 1, 2001, at 1:59:56
In reply to Re: Phobia of death/dying-Dubya, posted by Janice1 on March 31, 2001, at 18:42:17
Yes, I am scared now of bullies in the adult world. Sadly though, I never can admit to anyone outside of this forum that I want to hurt myself or even have acute thoughts about taking my life. I am scared my doc will put me in a psych ward or my parents will have heart attacks upon finding out that their 20yr old "baby" is unhappy. For that matter, I think I even have an eating disorder but, I am too embarrassed to admit this too to doc b/c why me. As a result, I am only on a low dose (30mg now, up from 10 & 20mg). I have put myself at 60mg w/out doc's permission to get well. Biggest thing to me is to be 'skinny/low body fat' than having lots of muscle. I really want to have < 12% body fat. I am currently at 18% body fat. I am 5'3, 154lbs (including muscles & fat). I think I am crazy though to even worry about being or getting fat. I am so afraid to get picked on that I would rather make myself suffer than to let others make me suffer.
poster:Dubya
thread:5366
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010324/msgs/5430.html