Posted by mila on March 29, 2001, at 2:07:01
In reply to Yes, I AM STUPID, posted by Dubya on March 28, 2001, at 23:39:45
I heard you, Dubya. I get the feeling that you are crying so loud because you are avoiding to hear yourself. for myself admitting that i am stupid was the hardest thing I have ever achieved. no diploma can certify that. Also, i must tell you that this brings a delightful feeling of being liberated.
Another thing that your post made me feel is that you are avoiding being responsible for being different, unique, or special. It takes plenty of courage, you know. maybe, at some point in your life you slipped into believing that having the best for yourself is your best option. feeling stupid thus might feel 'wrong', feeling 'different' might feel wrong, sweating in social situations, or believing that you are fat when you are not 'in other people's eyes' might feel wrong too. the only thing that i see wrong with it all is that you are denying yourself the truth of your own experiences.
Let yourself sweat. Do not deny it. sweating is part of coming in touch with people. It happens in fights, lovemaking, feeling scared, learning, and giving. of course, people judge you. you'd be a fool if you believed otherwise. the point is to judge THEM back, with abandonment! you do not have to be a good person in order to be a Person. your drive for collecting awards seems to show your need for being judged only in a positive way. That leaves out way too much of who you really are.
as far as mistakes... have you ever considered the trial-and-error-and-error-and-error method as an option? drafts are good.
mila
poster:mila
thread:5325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010324/msgs/5328.html